Build your brotherhood

Young guy has a group of Christian friends. They see each other every few weeks. They pray together, discuss scripture together, go to teaching meetings together, maybe even serve together. In the summers, they travel abroad. They are a band of brothers. Then he finds a girl and gets married. He starts to spend less and less time with his friends. Life gets busier, responsibilities get heavier and time for the bros drops off the to-do list. Children arrive. Hard decisions have to be made. Free time disappears. The brotherhood has disbanded. Years roll past. Our young man is now speeding towards his forties, feeling completely isolated. He longs for brothers. But he’s let them drift away.

For some reason, we think we can cope all right by ourselves. As the responsibilities pile up, our own friendships are the first thing we sacrifice. But we desperately need the influence of good men in our life. We’re foolish to disband the brotherhood. 

Here are a few reasons why we need our brothers.

1. Their influence. Godly friends will build us up and push us on. In time, we become like them. ‘He who walks with wise men will be wise’ (Proverbs 13:20).  ‘As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend’ (Proverbs 27:17).
2. Their honesty. We need the frank and honest words of good friends. ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend’ (Proverbs 27:6). Without men who know us and are ready to speak truth into our lives, we are vulnerable to hypocrisy or worse. 
3. Their encouragement. The company and counsel of good men will lift our hearts and bring us joy. Good times are to be had with the brothers! ‘Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel’ (Proverbs 27:9).
4. Their faithfulness. We all know the example of Jonathan and David: ‘Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul’ (1 Samuel 18:3). Theirs was a friendship that was characterised by generosity and sacrifice and commitment. And when David was being hunted by Saul in the wilderness, ‘Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God’ (1 Samuel 23:16). 
5. Their help. Faithful brothers will be essential for days of spiritual crisis. ‘Woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up’ (Ecclesiastes 4:10). 

We’ve lost something of great value when we let our brothers drift away from us. 

And we’ve missed out big time if we never get intentional about building godly friendships in the first place.

Let’s get past the banter of mates and take responsibility for the tone of our friendships. And let’s keep our brothers on our list of priorities, especially as life gets busy. Investment in our brotherhood will pay spiritual dividends for the rest of our life.

May God use our friendships to make us better men and keep us true to the end.